Despite the awkwardness of her examples, I believe it’s a real phenomenon Ruth describes. Charles Taylor makes the same point in a different way. Perhaps you’ll find his presentation more amenable.
I’ve also added a little section to the original essay:
In each case, the transition from old values to new remedied an error in thinking:
In transitioning away from being liked, I extended an incomplete idea of what makes for a good relationship.
In transitioning away from being effective, I corrected a similar misunderstanding about good teams.
With my new perspective, I’d found a more comprehensive value. I could drop the old values, because I’d clarified my understanding of what they’d really meant for me. What was important in the old values was entirely captured in the new value.
That’s all I can do for now. Perhaps in future essays I’ll be able to make a better case for this way of thinking.